Can someone please edit my essay?

admin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 15:01:34 +0000

As a thirty- four year old woman who once endured an unstable home life, teen pregnancy, and a period of homelessness, I realize the necessity and value of an education. My life experiences have impelled me to further my education and pursue a Master’s degree in Social Work. I have prevailed through numerous tribulations and my goal is to become a social worker so I can, in return, ensure that others will overcome life’s hardships.
During my childhood, I lived in a single parent family household with my mother. Our relationship suffered due to numerous arguments and a lack of understanding one another. Needless to say, when I confided in my mother that I was pregnant, our relationship completely dissipated. There was too much family conflict and the environment became increasingly unhealthy. Eventually, I became homeless. Everyday became a constant struggle. Not only was I homeless, but I was about to have a baby, had no money and no support. I felt alone as though nobody cared about my situation. However, I eventually found a shelter on Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles. Thankfully, at the shelter, I met a social worker who helped ease my concerns. She provided constant support and gave me a sense of hope. She encouraged me to resolve my conflict with my mother and return home. When I moved back home, I made a sincere effort to heal my relationship with my mother.
Six months later, I found a job as a counselor, working with adolescents who had experienced similar situations to mine. I began my preparation to achieve my personal goal while I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level-14 group home facility, as a youth counselor. My primary work responsibility was serving as a positive role model for adolescents from twelve to eighteen years of age. The adolescents had backgrounds similar to my own background. Others had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, the position was extremely stressful but I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the children and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused upon several areas of treatment, including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main ambition was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I gained valuable experience in listening to adolescents and helping them make positive decisions to improve the quality of their lives.
From my personal experiences, I learned that I had the ability to persevere through my most challenging times. I developed empathy for people struggling with everyday problems and, most importantly, I learned the importance of having support from my family. I am committed to helping others achieve personal growth and take an interest in their own well- being. As a result of my homelessness, I understand the constant despair and frustration experienced by those who find it challenging to cope with life’s everyday problems. I am also convinced that increasing one’s own sense of empowerment can make the difference between a future of despondency or one filled with hope.
I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work program because it is my goal to help others embrace their inner potential and make a positive life transition. Most importantly, I want to become a professional social worker because I want to do everything that is within my power to enhance the quality of a person’s life. I want to address the needs of all people in my community; especially it’s most vulnerable or “at-risk” members. I am deeply committed to the service of others, and most specifically to the service of troubled and neglected youth. I am confident that I will succeed as a social worker and transform the lives of many.
I am deeply committed to the service of others, especially to those that are vulnerable and to the service of troubled and neglected youth. For me, it is important to serve others instead of being served and to place others’ interest ahead of my own. Service is something that I admire about people in helping others. I also want to do the same for other people. I am going to devote my life to social justice and improving the lives of the vulnerable and oppressed. For one, all individuals and especially those individuals that are the most vulnerable and at-risk members in our community deserve to be treated with the utmost dignity and respect. I know that for myself, this is the motto that I live by: treat others how I would like to be treated. Therefore every person deserves the right to be treated with respect. I can readily understand that others would hope to be treated the same way in their daily lives. It is logical that others would recognize that we want the same things for ourselves. We should always put people first in terms of not violating their human rights. We need to look at ourselves first and look at what we are doing is in the best interest of others, upholding their

Any suggestions for how i could improve this essay?

admin — Sun, 23 May 2010 15:07:07 +0000

I have to write an essay about sugar. Here’s my essay so far.
Could i have some feedback?

Sugar
Sugar is very high on the glycemic index. It’s digested quickly and provides calories but has very little nutritional value. There are different kinds of sugar and some are worse than others. Fruit sugar, fructose, is less harmful than refined sugar. People have evolved to like the taste of sugar because the sweetest fruits are often the ones that have the most nutrients.

The average BMI in North America is 27.1, which is overweight. Sugar is clinically proven to cause obesity, which causes heart attacks. Sugar can cause a variety of medical conditions including alcoholism, Multiple sclerosis and ovarian cancer. Sugar also causes skin to age faster. Too much sugar can affect your brain and make it harder for you to learn. It can also cause depression, emotional instability and epilepsy. Sugar is in almost everything we eat, even places where we don’t expect it. Sugar also causes dental carries, because the bacteria in your mouth eat it and produce acid as a by-product when they digest it.

Most people consume more that their body weight in sugar every year. For the first time in history, there are more obese people in the world that starving people

Sugar is very harmful to pregnant women and the fetuses. It can be as harmful as caffeine or alcohol, but because there is less social pressure for women to stop eating sugar during pregnancy, they are lass likely to stop. There is also less information available to pregnant mothers about the effects of sugar. Although women are supposed o gain weight during pregnancy, the weight is not supposed to be from having extra fat. It can also cause the baby to be born already overweight.

The most disturbing part about sugar, however, is its long history of being grown by slaves. About 85% of the sugar we eat today is grown by slaves. Most of the modern slaves are dept, slaves, but they only get paid $2.00 for picking a tonne of sugar, and they owe huge amounts of money to the company store. Because most sugar slaves today are dept slaves, sugar plantation owners today don’t even acknowledge that they are using slave labour to grow their crops.

In the 1700 hundreds, Thomas Clarkson was the first person to fight for the abolition of slavery. Most of the slaves at that time were also used to grow sugar. He faced a lot of controversy and, when he tried to prosecute slave owners for murder, the owners of sugar plantations actually devised a plan to have him assassinated. Luckily, he escaped.

The persecution of those who try to fight against sugar and sugar slavery, however, has not stopped. In the 1970s, many people who tried to spread information about the negative effects of sugar lost their jobs. Sugar manufacturers still claim that the evidence against sugar is not proven. They will not admit that sugar does damage to people.

Depression during Pregnancy » essay

Can someone please edit my essay?

Any suggestions for how i could improve this essay?