We’ve been together 10 yrs. and all I’ve ever wanted was to be his wife and year after year and 2 kids later I had to basically beg to get him to ask me. When I told him that I don’t want to do it just because he felt bad for my crying about it and I want it to be something he wants too he said he does but I just don’t believe him. I can’t rely on my feelings and emotions because they are so out of wack right now due to the ridiculously stressful life I’ve subjected myself too, so 1 min he’s awesome and the next I wish I could just pack up and be gone, but it’s never that easy. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and I know I am not an ideal girlfriend but I bend over backwards and do flips for this man something that I rarely see from him. I put him through a lot with my mood swings and just plain ol psychoticness but I feel justified in my bad treatment of him because I feel like I’ve given so much of myself to him and his family without any regard for me and my feelings. In my heart I feel like I will never be his first priority and that his mother and sister will always come first and it makes me so sad and it really hurts to think that we’ve spent so time together and been through so much, I’ve slept in hotels/cars with him for 3 years, had 3 abortions because he told me the pregnancy was my decision and we really can’t afford to have children so I thought I was doing what he wanted me to do,
I wash his clothes,
clean the house,
take care of the kids,
pay the bills (which I have not been doing lately because I don’t know why I just get so stressed)
allow his mother and sister to live with us because they get evicted (3 times now more than 6 months each situation)
becoming more sexual
play taxi (at least twice a week I have to pick either him or his mother up after I just worked a 9 hr shift being up since 4 am and sitting in traffic for hours, the list can go on but I do love this man although I think he can be such an ass because if I complain about doing any of the things listed above then I am not being a team player and I wonder wtf is he talking about because I am the team!!! But on the other hand he is sweet, he used to make me laugh but now I’m always so mad his jokes aren’t funny, I know he is a good man and together we can make things happen but I am really scared that I will not be made a priority and that I will end up hurting myself if I continue to stay I just want some peace and to be able to have our place/space to really grow up I am 27 and he is 29 and neither of us have ever really lived on our own except for our short 6 month breaks when I decided we need to move and get our own. I love his mother and sister but I want them to have their own lives and home and let us raise our family together and stop being so selfish but will I ever really be #1 to him and if we get married will he realize that he is now our family LEADER and take that responsibility seriously or will I continue to be the underdog although I am putting out the most results someone please help me I am at a loss!!!
I put the details because I kind of need to vent also, I feel like an idiot when I try to talk to my friends or family because I don’t want to appear needy, I am currently in therapy to try and make some type of sense of my life and get it on track so I can be more productive for my children. Thank you all for even taking the time to read through all that and giving your advice I really appreciate it alot :0)!!
last addition, the reason I have to play taxi is because he and I are the ones with cars, his mom and sister’s cars were repo’d about 2-3 years ago and they have been relying on us to get around or driving his truck because I won’t let them take my car if it’s not work related.

I have 2 children. One 6 and one 13 months. I’m almost 7 months pregnant and stay at home everyday. I don’t have any friends anymore my stepsister/ best friend quit talking to me b/c she doesn’t like my boyfriend (father of my 3 children) I’m low income and live in a rural area and can’t afford to go out and do much. I would love to get a job, but I can’t afford daycare and rent on minimum wage (that’s all the jobs pay in my area). I used to spend time with my mom but she hasn’t been around much lately b/c my stepdad has aggressive cancer and gets daily treatment and hour away. I just really feel alone lately and don’t know what to do. I have nothing to look forward to. My boyfriend works a lot so I don’t even see him that often. I was being treated for postpartum depression when I got pregnant but had to quit taking med due to pregnancy. And I no longer go to counseling b/c I felt like I wasn’t doing much talking- my counselor mostly chit chatted about her grandkids. I wake up everyday not wanting to get out of bed b/c I know all there is to do is clean. I plan to start school in the fall, but that’s still 3 months away. Has anyone else ever felt like this? What can I do to make things better? .

I have a very hard situation that is causing me a lot of pain and anguish. I don’t know what to do and I feel so lost right now. I am a 34 year old man that recently married his girlfriend after only dating for 3 months. We have been married for 2 months now, so we have been together for a total of 5 months. My wife is 25 years old so there is an age gap there. I agree that we did move way too fast and that everyone would tell us this. She is currently 3 months pregnant and the last two months have been pretty much a living nightmare. From the beginning of the relationship, this woman told me that she loved me with all her heart abnd that she had no doubt about the way she felt about me. We even talked about getting married soon. Two months into the relationship , she got pregnant after we had made a promise that we would wait until we got married to consummate our relationship. She did mention several times during the first two months that she did not want to get pregnant. But two weeks after we found out she was pregnant she promised me that she was ok with the pregnancy and she was even happy about it. I am a bipolar man that has did disorder for along time, but just recently came to the acceptance and realization that I am bipolar and now am seeking treatment (medication and therapy). From the beginning of the relationship she noticed that I had episodes of depression and mania and she would even think to herself that I might be bipolar. Three weeks after we find out she was pregnant, she was struck physically so bad that she had to leave work and unable to do anything physically throwing up all the time everything she would eat and nauseated all the time. I immediately started taking care of her like a good husband would and would only leave the house to go to work.. During the last 9 weeks that she has gotten worse and her mood swings (due to the pregnancy) have gotten worse and worse. During all this my bipolar episodes of depression and mania have increased and have acted out on those episodes with her many times throughout the pregnancy. Recently about three weeks ago she told me that she did not feel the same way anymore about me or about us and that the love she felt once for me in November through January was not there anymore. And when she explained that to me I thought that that explained the way she had been with me the last 5 weeks as far as cold, distant, abusive, and even made cruel comments. I have heard horror stories about pregnant women doing some crazy things to their husbands and even feeling like they do not love their husbands anymore as result of uncontrollable hormones, but these are marriages that have been together for years not 4 -5 months. I did also tell her that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that started getting treatment for it. She stated that she always knew I had it so it came as no surprise. She mentioned that she was tired of everything and the way I have not been able to handle her hard pregnancy. I did explain to her that her pregnancy, and the way she has changed were triggers that triggered my episodes of depression and irritability but that it wasn’t who I really was and that I was getting help for my disorder but that she would need to be patient with me. I know that I have done everything possible to make her hard pregnancy better by taking care of every possible need that she might have though all this, but she feels that I have not done a good job of handling the pregnancy at all. So now I fear that because of my bipolar disorder I have tired yet another person out of my life. I try to be positive and think that its just her hormones talking or making her feel like this and making her the things she has said and not that she is realizing that she was only infatuated with me at the beginning and now because of what she realizes is wrong with me is not willing to deal with it. When she did tell me that she was no longer in love with me, I did tell her that I was leaving and I gathered all my belongings and left, while I walked downstairs she texted me telling me that I told her I would never leave her no matter what, I came back because of that , because no matter what I love her and I love that child she is going to have. I am so distressed and tired and scared that this woman who I fell in love with is now no longer in love with me, because I have pushed her away due to my episodes of this hated decease

In the start of my pregnancy, it was rough, because it was not expected, and it was hard for my boyfriend to accept. After a few weeks, I was happy about it, and he grew happy too. We went and bought little things here and there. My boyfriend is supportive & now is excited to find out the sex, and is taking part in my prenatal visits, and growing into ‘being a dad’.

Me, on the other hand…..

Read the rest of this entry