Comments on: I don’t know if I should get married!!! I don’t trust him and I still hold resentment…? http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html About Depression during Pregnancy, Symptoms, Depression during Pregnancy Effects on Baby, Treatment Recommendations, Medication Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:49:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: 4REEE http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1343 4REEE Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:41:26 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1343 Please seek counseling. This is way over our heads and yours too. * * * Please seek counseling. This is way over our heads and yours too.

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]]> By: .::Abby Jo::. http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1342 .::Abby Jo::. Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:05:32 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1342 In my opinion if you even have to ask this question you shouldn't be getting married to him. I know what it's like to be with someone for so many years they just become part of you and you just cant picture how you could do it without them regardless of how they actually are... but it's not worth it. If things are the way you say they are, I think you would be better off not together. I know it's easier said then done, but look at this way. Yes It's going to hurt really bad to leave him, and you will have a broken heart for a good while, but the pain of that will be far less then the pain of staying with him and never being happy, and wondering what could have been if you were with someone who treated you better. Once you are with someone who doesn't have all these expectations of you and just wants you for you, you will look back at the relationship you are in now and wonder what you were thinking and be so grateful you didnt stay in it. If a good deal of you staying with him is based on the kids, forget it. I've worked with kids for 6+ years in all kinds of situations, and anyone else who has, can tell you that a child would rather their parents not be together but happy then be together and not happy. Kids can pick up on these things, they know when you arnt happy together, they really just want to have both their parents in their life but happy. You shouldnt have doubt or trust issues in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. In my opinion if you even have to ask this question you shouldn’t be getting married to him. I know what it’s like to be with someone for so many years they just become part of you and you just cant picture how you could do it without them regardless of how they actually are… but it’s not worth it. If things are the way you say they are, I think you would be better off not together. I know it’s easier said then done, but look at this way. Yes It’s going to hurt really bad to leave him, and you will have a broken heart for a good while, but the pain of that will be far less then the pain of staying with him and never being happy, and wondering what could have been if you were with someone who treated you better. Once you are with someone who doesn’t have all these expectations of you and just wants you for you, you will look back at the relationship you are in now and wonder what you were thinking and be so grateful you didnt stay in it. If a good deal of you staying with him is based on the kids, forget it. I’ve worked with kids for 6+ years in all kinds of situations, and anyone else who has, can tell you that a child would rather their parents not be together but happy then be together and not happy. Kids can pick up on these things, they know when you arnt happy together, they really just want to have both their parents in their life but happy. You shouldnt have doubt or trust issues in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

]]> By: :-) http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1341 :-) Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:07:55 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1341 Read your question that you posted. This too much for me to read. Get out or you will be stuck with him and his mother & sister. You and your children come first. :-) Read your question that you posted. This too much for me to read. Get out or you will be stuck with him and his mother & sister. You and your children come first. :-)

]]> By: Laura http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1340 Laura Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:35:26 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1340 In fairness we are not really the people to ask looking at the above comments. At the end of the day if there is no trust and you resent stuff you cant get married like that. I wouldnt urge you to leave him because although this sounds stupid i was in the exact position, Since he asked me to marry him i siad yes and i also said but i wont marry you until im happy with our relationship, so that i can marry you knowing we are crazily in love and we trust eachother and all the rest of it. We are now getting married next year at Edinburgh castle. I do think if you truely do love him stick in there and get proper help no matter what. Good luck, hope it goes well for you In fairness we are not really the people to ask looking at the above comments. At the end of the day if there is no trust and you resent stuff you cant get married like that. I wouldnt urge you to leave him because although this sounds stupid i was in the exact position, Since he asked me to marry him i siad yes and i also said but i wont marry you until im happy with our relationship, so that i can marry you knowing we are crazily in love and we trust eachother and all the rest of it. We are now getting married next year at Edinburgh castle. I do think if you truely do love him stick in there and get proper help no matter what.

Good luck, hope it goes well for you

]]> By: Messykatt http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1339 Messykatt Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:19:22 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1339 With your title, the details weren't necessary. Of course you can't marry someone you don't trust. And you resent him because he's using you. You're also playing a game with your head if you expect him to wake up the day after you get married and suddenly realize he's the head of a household. He never has been and he never will be. With your title, the details weren’t necessary. Of course you can’t marry someone you don’t trust. And you resent him because he’s using you. You’re also playing a game with your head if you expect him to wake up the day after you get married and suddenly realize he’s the head of a household. He never has been and he never will be.

]]> By: prolly http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1338 prolly Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:53:42 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1338 You are having doubts, you don't trust him and you resent him. Why are you still with him? You are having doubts, you don’t trust him and you resent him. Why are you still with him?

]]> By: Lilly http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1337 Lilly Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:06:05 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1337 You're bending over backwards, and stressing yourself out more which probably isn't healthy. It's good to have both people contributing in a relationship, but it sounds like you're taking way more on than he is. Having kids to care for is a ig job on its own. And to still clean the house, do laundry, give him rides everywhere, and work. Where's your man when you're spending your time doing all of this?! You need a little bit of time for yourself, try and talk to him about sharing a little bit more responsibility. If he's not for it, that you're really the only one committing to the marriage and relationship between you two. Marriage is suposed to be (somewhat) about compromise. You have to work together! If you're gonna be the only one handling these jobs then rethink it maybe. You’re bending over backwards, and stressing yourself out more which probably isn’t healthy. It’s good to have both people contributing in a relationship, but it sounds like you’re taking way more on than he is. Having kids to care for is a ig job on its own. And to still clean the house, do laundry, give him rides everywhere, and work. Where’s your man when you’re spending your time doing all of this?!
You need a little bit of time for yourself, try and talk to him about sharing a little bit more responsibility. If he’s not for it, that you’re really the only one committing to the marriage and relationship between you two. Marriage is suposed to be (somewhat) about compromise. You have to work together!
If you’re gonna be the only one handling these jobs then rethink it maybe.

]]> By: Perse http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1336 Perse Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00:16 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1336 I only read the title. You resent him and you don't trust him. Then, no, do not marry him. I only read the title. You resent him and you don’t trust him. Then, no, do not marry him.

]]> By: Liz http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1335 Liz Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:27:41 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1335 It only gets worse once he has that ring on your finger. I wouldn't do it. It only gets worse once he has that ring on your finger. I wouldn’t do it.

]]> By: Josh http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html/comment-page-1#comment-1334 Josh Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:01:28 +0000 http://www.depressionduringpregnancy.org/i-dont-know-if-i-should-get-married-i-dont-trust-him-and-i-still-hold-resentment.html#comment-1334 Wow... Wow…

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